my tears of the kingdom experience so far
Me playing any video game ever: “I need to keep at least one of every item in this game or else I will die in real life”
This is one of your worst posts yet man
You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock
whoever came up with love languages did not consider the butch ones:
• give acorn
• give rock
• tolerate cold hands on their warm tummy
• receive bite
• hand me things while I do my makeup
• get spooned
• stare at me
maidgirl whos super competitive with a roomba but then they. they uh,. well
Please don't stick your dick in the roomba
you hate women and those who dream
Every time I see some gamerbro edit of a female video game character to make her 'prettier', I always see something I have mentally dubbed Cockroach Wife Syndrome (in honor of the guy who accidentally conditioned himself to only be aroused by a fantasy of his cockroach wife Ogtha).
That is to say, there is a certain subset of gamerbro who interacts so rarely with real women, that his primary touchstone for how women look is fiction: often video games and anime. So when a video game woman looks too realistic--too close to having traits that one might find in real flesh and blood women--this is foreign to them. This is unattractive. They have been jacking it to hentai and blender animation porn for too many years, and have inadvertently conditioned themselves to only be sexually aroused by the exaggerated cartoonish traits of animated women.
So now every time I see one such edit, I can't help but think. My. What a coincidence you've made her look more like an anime waifu. Truly dedicated to your cockroach wife.
You can’t just breeze over something like “the guy who accidentally conditioned himself to only be aroused by a fantasy of his cockroach wife Ogtha” without at least linking a 20 minute video breakdown of this man’s descent into madness.
Oh is Ogtha not common knowledge? Eight years ago this was posted on reddit:
Two years ago, we got this update on the life of this roachfucker:
TLDR it's a guy who became obsessed with human-sized roaches with human intelligence after reading Kafka in high school, an obsession which eventually came to monopolize his romantic interests (and has sporadically had catastrophic impacts on his life ever since).
This guy is being body snatched by roach succubi and you’re fucking laughing
My man got so horny that he accidentally did the creation stage of god contemplation. I'm genuinely impressed.
The human mind is a beautiful and complex thing
Hey guys I typically dojn't make posts like this but today I was playing Minecraft and cutting down a birch tree and a skeleton walked out of a cave. I've been dealing with skeleton for a while now and thought I should warn people about their behavior so I made this google doc in case others come in contact with minecraft skeleton too. please share to spread thew ord to stay safe
i was gonna say it Does have a tail thats what the cord is thats why its called a mouse!!!! and then i remembered most mouses are cordless now and got fucked up bc IT IS A HAMSTER and now immfucked up bc like. technology has advanced so must thay mice have changed species
it matters to me that you all know i was wizard high when i wrote that
















